Staring does not = stalking!!!

If you're into Christmas carols, you'll recognize these few lyrics. He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake...


Creepy!!

But please, tell me you haven't done this before. You look up and see a peculiar sight-- a grown man trying to inconspicuously sniff his armpit, a woman sneaking her dog into Wal-Mart, another teenager with earbuds in their ears but then you realize that the earbuds aren't plugged into anything. And you're drawn to this person, trying to figure who they really are.

My drama teacher said something really profound the other day: Staring is not stalking.

So get out there and stare! Just not too conspicuously. Observe, maybe. See how that 20-something year old woman at O' Charley's folds her napkin just right, or wipes her mouth after every bite. Or the frail, elderly man leaving the pet store with a giant dog. A Great Dane, maybe.

Observe, then write! Create a description of the person, a little bio, name and all. If you don't know, then guess. Fabricate a whole life and career for this person if you wish. Say you see a man rushing to work. His tie is sticking out, his shirt isn't tucked in, and frankly, his hair looks like a rabbit had just nested in it. You can guess that either this man lives a very messy life and isn't married, or he just got back from saving the world and is late for work.

Your call.

See, that's the coolest thing about stalking! Er, I mean, staring. A brief explanation on that: stalking is going so far as knowing this person age, name, address, phone number, car model, love life, and shoe size. (You are not stalking your close friends if you know this about them. You are, however, if this person is someone you have never seen in your life. Although I think that should go without saying.) Staring is looking curiously at people-- however, NEVER let them know you're looking!

So write up 1, 4, or 20 pages of a fake life for someone you caught a glimpse of at Kroger. Word to the wise:
Sunglasses like these make it fun!

So go and get gawking!!

(Note: Try not to stare at people who are disabled in any way, not matter how fascinating their tic. They would obviously feel uncomfortable, even if your staring is for good, not evil.)