The Pineapple and the Hare

Good day, fine folks!! 


Today I am here to share with you a bizarre NY state exam story with some even bizarre-er questions!


Without further ado, here is the story:


"In the olden times, animals could speak English, just like you and me. There was a lovely enchanted forest that flourished with a bunch of these magical animals. One day, a hare was relaxing by a tree. All of a sudden, he noticed a pineapple sitting near him.
The hare, being magical and all, told the pineapple, "Um, hi." 
The pineapple could speak English too.
"I challenge you to a race! Whoever makes it across the forest and back first wins a ninja! And a lifetime's supply of toothpaste!" 
The hare looked at the pineapple strangely, but agreed to the race.
The next day, the competition was coming into play. All the animals in the forest (but not the pineapples, for pineapples are immobile) arranged a finish/start line in between two trees. The coyote placed the pineapple in front of the starting line, and the hare was on his way.
Everyone on the sidelines was bustling about and chatting about the obvious prediction that the hare was going to claim the victory (and the ninja and the toothpaste). Suddenly, the crow had a revolutionary realization.
"AAAAIEEH! Friends! I have an idea to share! The pineapple has not challenged our good companion, the hare, to just a simple race! Surely the pineapple must know that he CANNOT MOVE! He obviously has a trick up his sleeve!" exclaimed the crow.
The moose spoke up.
"Pineapples don't have sleeves."
"You fool! You know what I mean! I think that the pineapple knows we're cheering for the hare, so he is planning to pull a trick on us, so we look foolish when he wins! Let's sink the pineapple's intentions, and let's cheer for the stupid fruit!" the crow passionately proclaimed. The other animals cheered, and started chanting, "FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN!"
A few minutes later, the hare arrived. He got into place next to the pineapple, who sat there contently. The monkey blew the tree-bark whistle, and the race began! The hare took off, sprinting through the forest, and the pineapple ...
It sat there.
The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were. The pineapple did not have a trick up its sleeve. It wanted an honest race — but it knew it couldn't walk (let alone run)!
About a few hours later, the hare came into sight again. It flew right across the finish line, still as fast as it was when it first took off. The hare had won, but the pineapple still sat at his starting point, and had not even budged."


This is WORD FOR WORD, I swear! Don't believe me, you can read the actual article here! 


Here are the two questions that pertain to the passage:


1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to


2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl


The only thing that I can glean is that there was no owl. And that the moose must be the wisest, for as he very wisely proclaimed, "Pineapples don't have sleeves." 


I love it when the hare replies to the pineapple's sudden appearance with a very literate... "Um, hi."


(I thought we weren't supposed to say 'um'... at least, that's what's been ingrained into me. I use it anyway, but I mean, it's a public school. Wouldn't you think that they wouldn't want to undermine any die-hard English teachers? "Um, hi." Gimme a break.)


Makes me glad to be homeschooled... I would not want to tackle this particular test!!