On Alcoholic Establishments and Cheese

Two blondes walk into a bar...

You'd think that one of them would have seen it coming!!!

(Da dum, CRASH!!)

Sorry, that was really bad...

It's been a while, friends! Mostly because my eyeballs have dried out trying to match the colors of a certain graphic with a certain background and a certain text to make a certain cover for a certain CreateSpace novel that was finished a LONG time ago.

I am on cover 9, people. COVER NINE!!!

And I'm getting just a tad bit irritated...

But enough about me, I'm just ranting here and giving you a little update on my pet project. :)

But really, there's not enough going on lately to tell about... except maybe the planned shooting of Artemis 2!!

No, Artemis 2 is not a person. It is the WIP name of Catching Fire-- and I can only deduce that it's called this because Artemis was the Greek god of hunting? But I think it would be SUPERB to be an extra in it!!!!

Sorry, no I'm not promoting the Hunger Games... don't mind me...

Anything else? Oh yes, I've heard it said that if you eat Cheddar cheese right before going to bed, you dream about a celebrity. I haven't tried it myself, yet, but I plan on doing it soon.

Whoa... that was just really random...

Anyway, sweet cheesy dreams and good luck to me on staring at a computer screen for hours on end trying to get the PERFECT shade of yellow...

DEMON WOLVES! DEMON WOLVES!

Guess what? Rough Draft #2 of The Hungry Hungry Games (authored by: yours truly!) is nearly done! I'm trying super hard to finish it by June 1st, the deadline for our CreateSpace novels. Quick lowdown for those who have no idea what I'm talking about: I participated in NaNoWriMo's Young Writer's Program this year, and if you finished your goal (mine was 30,000 words) before November 30th, you win 5 free copies of your novel from CreateSpace, a self-publishing website. Anyways (Oh, whatever, I'll say it anyway[s]!), The Hungry Hungry Games is not my ORIGINAL novel but still one deserving of it's own copy.

Here's a little sampling of me and my best friend, for whom I wrote it, trying to describe it to our book club. BEWARE: It makes no sense whatsoever.

Me: It's this novel about some tyrannical gamemakers named Milton and Bradley who give special drugs to 24 lucky humans, turning them into hippo mutants. Then the mutants are placed in an arena for a FIGHT to the DEATH!
Friend: What were the two main characters named?
Me: Hale and Leigh.
Friend: There's also some pineapple quicksand...
Me: Don't forget the demon wolves!
Friend: Oh, yeah! Or the rock!
Me: Ah yes, the rock. Or the murderer.
Friend: Named Buck!
Me: The two main hippos were named Nyssa and Pete. Nyssa's a jerk. I don't like her.
Friend: You're just mean. She wasn't the villain-- Claudia was.
Me: Oh yeah, she tied up the tour guide named Ashley in a tree!
Friend: Didn't she tie up the old man with the banana hat too?
Me: Ben Ben the Lizard Man!
Friend: Ah, that magical rock! Wait, when did Pete give it to them again?
Me: In the mud pits, remember when the bugs were singing "It's A Small World After All"?
Friend: Oh, yes.
Me: When Hale and Leigh got their jumpsuits.
Friend: And Hale's said "I'm a Beliber" on it!"

Ah, yes... well, this is paraphrased just a tad (she'd kill me for saying anything different), but you get the gist of my short story now, right?

Ahem. Maybe not.

Look for "The Hungry Hungry Games" on bookshelves near you soon!

I wish... Suzanne Collin's agent would probably kill me...

Got to go... Scholastic Press is trying to knock down the door.

Why Stuff Sticks In Your Head (And I Don't Mean Brains, I Mean Justin Bieber)

Why the picture of the lemon pie, you ask? It shall all be revealed at the end of the post! But for now, listen to me preach, then you can have some pie.

So anyways (oops, I just said anyways. I know I'm not supposed to (read my rant about it here, second paragraph, but I couldn't help myself) I was thinking the other day (no obvious jokes here, please) about how I want to go see the Hunger Games movie.

Please, hear me out!

I would go for three reasons: 1, so I can effectively argue with my friends about it, 2, to see what the hype is about, and 3... I forget the third one. So there's just two reasons. But I was thinking about how many people said it was so annoying how the camera kept shaking around, they couldn't see any of the (erm) gross and gory violence/killing spree. A shame, right? I think that I might like that, though. As I think I've said before, I have a... um... "sensitive spirit." Gratuitous violence disturbs me, but it should disturb everyone, don't you think?

It's just that this stuff sticks in our minds. I can still remember that scene from Indiana Jones I where the dude went into the temple and got his head stuck through with spikes. It gave me nightmares for a month (granted, I was only nine) but it goes to show how our brain retains images so well. I read a statistic that said (and this is paraphrased a little) if you view an image for even less than 13 seconds your mind can still remember it years later.

Take this analogy: imagine that you're training for a 5-mile race, but you're not a runner. If you started out running without training, you wouldn't make it 5 miles. (Even though there's a McDonald's like, every 2 miles.) Or you'd get hit by a bus. (That happened in a running book I read.) But you condition yourself, running first 1/2-mile, then a mile, then 2, then 3, up until you can run 5 miles without stopping. Just like you would make your body get used to running for 5 miles straight (though why anyone would do that is beyond me) our minds get used to seeing violence, sex, and other gross/bad stuff in movies, TV shows, and music videos. See it for the first time, it would (hopefully) disturb you-- but see it twenty, and soon you're not affected by it at all. This is one of the reasons why I don't watch stuff like that if I can help it.

You may be wondering where Justin Bieber comes in, so here he is! Just like we remember images so well, we can remember lyrics too. If they're catchy and/or annoying (like Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Oh, Baby, Baby, Baby [etc]) it's easy to memorize the words without knowing it! But since your brain automatically does that, you have to be careful what you listen to. I bought a song by John Mayer without listening to it first, and found out it says one curse word in it. It's only one, and it's not even one of those Queen Mother of All Bad Words, but when I was singing it to myself the only line I could remember was that one. (Oops. Glad my mother wasn't in the room!) Suffice to say, the song is removed from my iPod so I'm not tempted to say it, even when I'm just humming the song. Oh, man, it would be BAD, I tell you, if I was humming it and my friend goes "What song are you humming? How does it go?" "Oh yes, it goes "La, di da, di da BLEEP!" o_O

That would probably be bad.

Not to change the subject, but has anyone read the Junie B. Jones books? I had to read one out loud to my sister because my mom, who was reading it to her, started laughing so hard she couldn't continue. This wasn't that part, but it made me laugh, at least!

Yesterday, a very wonderful thing happened!
And it's called-- I had pie for dinner!
Just pie and that's all!
That's because my mother went to the hospital to have a baby. And Daddy and Grandma Miller went with her. And so me and my grampa got to stay at his house. All by ourselves. And no one even babysitted us! And guess what? Grampa smoked a real live cigar right inside the house! And Grandma didn't yell, "Go outside with that thing, Frank!"... After that, I opened up the 'frigerator. 'Cause I was hungry from playing, that's why.
"HEY! GUESS WHAT? THERE'S A BIG FAT LEMON PIE IN HERE, FRANK!" I hollered.
And so then Grampa Miller got down two plates. And then me and him ate the big fat lemon pie for our dinner!!
Just pie and that's all!!
And we're not even going to get in trouble! 'Cause we're going to tell Grandma that her cat ate it!

The cat ate it... So there's your lemon pie. Enjoy, and I promise next time, I won't preach but I'll just make fun of something. :)

The Pineapple and the Hare

Good day, fine folks!! 


Today I am here to share with you a bizarre NY state exam story with some even bizarre-er questions!


Without further ado, here is the story:


"In the olden times, animals could speak English, just like you and me. There was a lovely enchanted forest that flourished with a bunch of these magical animals. One day, a hare was relaxing by a tree. All of a sudden, he noticed a pineapple sitting near him.
The hare, being magical and all, told the pineapple, "Um, hi." 
The pineapple could speak English too.
"I challenge you to a race! Whoever makes it across the forest and back first wins a ninja! And a lifetime's supply of toothpaste!" 
The hare looked at the pineapple strangely, but agreed to the race.
The next day, the competition was coming into play. All the animals in the forest (but not the pineapples, for pineapples are immobile) arranged a finish/start line in between two trees. The coyote placed the pineapple in front of the starting line, and the hare was on his way.
Everyone on the sidelines was bustling about and chatting about the obvious prediction that the hare was going to claim the victory (and the ninja and the toothpaste). Suddenly, the crow had a revolutionary realization.
"AAAAIEEH! Friends! I have an idea to share! The pineapple has not challenged our good companion, the hare, to just a simple race! Surely the pineapple must know that he CANNOT MOVE! He obviously has a trick up his sleeve!" exclaimed the crow.
The moose spoke up.
"Pineapples don't have sleeves."
"You fool! You know what I mean! I think that the pineapple knows we're cheering for the hare, so he is planning to pull a trick on us, so we look foolish when he wins! Let's sink the pineapple's intentions, and let's cheer for the stupid fruit!" the crow passionately proclaimed. The other animals cheered, and started chanting, "FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN!"
A few minutes later, the hare arrived. He got into place next to the pineapple, who sat there contently. The monkey blew the tree-bark whistle, and the race began! The hare took off, sprinting through the forest, and the pineapple ...
It sat there.
The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were. The pineapple did not have a trick up its sleeve. It wanted an honest race — but it knew it couldn't walk (let alone run)!
About a few hours later, the hare came into sight again. It flew right across the finish line, still as fast as it was when it first took off. The hare had won, but the pineapple still sat at his starting point, and had not even budged."


This is WORD FOR WORD, I swear! Don't believe me, you can read the actual article here! 


Here are the two questions that pertain to the passage:


1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to


2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl


The only thing that I can glean is that there was no owl. And that the moose must be the wisest, for as he very wisely proclaimed, "Pineapples don't have sleeves." 


I love it when the hare replies to the pineapple's sudden appearance with a very literate... "Um, hi."


(I thought we weren't supposed to say 'um'... at least, that's what's been ingrained into me. I use it anyway, but I mean, it's a public school. Wouldn't you think that they wouldn't want to undermine any die-hard English teachers? "Um, hi." Gimme a break.)


Makes me glad to be homeschooled... I would not want to tackle this particular test!!

My Top Threes! And May the Fourth be With You

Today (or rather, tonight) I have been think quite a bit about some lists. Mainly, lists of Threes. So here they are, presented to you, completely biased and without awareness to the next best thing.

My Top Three Books:
1. The Bible
2. The Running Dream by Wendelin van Draanen
3. Okay for Now by Gary D. Schmidt

My Top Three Songs (on my playlist right now):
1. Rhythm of Love by Plain White T's
2. If I Had Eyes by Jack Johnson
3. The Sound of Sunshine by Michael Franti & Spearhead

My Top Three Male Actors that God Did A Very Good Job in Making Them:
1. Josh Hutcherson
2. Zac Efron
3. Actually, there's just two. :)

Okay, I ran out of lists. But I will gladly give you my opinion on any of YOUR Top Threes. :) And I encourage you to seriously look at your lists. Do they line up with the Bible, and God's expectations with us? I think probably not, as mine are not exactly perfect, usually... but I'm working on that...

May the Fourth Be With You!

(And altho with you!)