Monday, December 10, 2012

"And She's Going Dowwwwnnnnn..."

I'm going to cut to the chase right here: I'm taking down the blog. Well, not taking it down, per se, but at least taking a break from writing posts. (Yeah, I know, I need to! I write SO MANY posts that you guys just can't keep up with them all! Just kidding.)

It's kind of hard to keep remembering to not keep my nonexistent blog readers hanging. I think my last post was in September, and before that, May! Not cool, you guys. (I meant I'm not cool for doing that.)

So as of right now, you can still read other blog posts, but don't be expecting anyone to be updating it. Unless something amazing happens, and I just want to share it. But I have to face it: I don't have an exciting life!! I have absolutely nothing to blog about. So yeah. Farewell, fine friends! <3

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

I Was Dead, but Now I've Come Back To Life Like Captain America! Er, I Mean, Jesus!

Wow, folks! Is it really September? And my last post was in May? Well, you won't believe me when I say I've died and come back, but it must be true or I wouldn't be writing it here. :)

How is everyone on this lovely autumn day?

Maybe it's not autumn for you. Maybe you live in the Yukon and it's 20 degrees below zero. Or maybe you live in the Southern Hemisphere and it's spring for you. Doesn't matter, here it's gorgeously cool and the trees are changing color, the birds are singing, the smell of pumpkin candles is in the air...

So a few things have happened with me. Yes, I got my cover figured out, which no one cares about any more since that was May and now it's September (unless you live in some alternate universe and today is actually Luna 5). But a main thing is the hopeful startup of my writer's group!

Basically, me and about 7 or 8 other people (or more) will be posting chapters of our story on a website. We'll all have pen names too! I'm thinking something like "Jennifer Doyle" or something else that is far from my real name. Ideas? I think that pseudonyms are great in that they give people who may or may not know each other and may or may not feel comfortable sharing their precious WIPs with each other.

Another thing is the TV show Sherlock from BBC!!! It is amazing!!! Benedict Cummerbatch is Sherlock and Martin Freeman is Watson. It's really well done but extremely intense. So I've been consumed with Sherlock Holmes stories lately. I've seen movies, read books, seen plays about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's greatest literary heroes.

Anyway, I'm not dead but I do need to get off Pinterest and get outside before it gets too cold to be unbearable. Can't wait for fall!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

On Alcoholic Establishments and Cheese

Two blondes walk into a bar...

You'd think that one of them would have seen it coming!!!

(Da dum, CRASH!!)

Sorry, that was really bad...

It's been a while, friends! Mostly because my eyeballs have dried out trying to match the colors of a certain graphic with a certain background and a certain text to make a certain cover for a certain CreateSpace novel that was finished a LONG time ago.


I am on cover 9, people. COVER NINE!!!


And I'm getting just a tad bit irritated...

But enough about me, I'm just ranting here and giving you a little update on my pet project. :)

But really, there's not enough going on lately to tell about... except maybe the planned shooting of Artemis 2!!

No, Artemis 2 is not a person. It is the WIP name of Catching Fire-- and I can only deduce that it's called this because Artemis was the Greek god of hunting? But I think it would be SUPERB to be an extra in it!!!!

Sorry, no I'm not promoting the Hunger Games... don't mind me...

Anything else? Oh yes, I've heard it said that if you eat Cheddar cheese right before going to bed, you dream about a celebrity. I haven't tried it myself, yet, but I plan on doing it soon.

Whoa... that was just really random...

Anyway, sweet cheesy dreams and good luck to me on staring at a computer screen for hours on end trying to get the PERFECT shade of yellow...

Monday, May 21, 2012

DEMON WOLVES! DEMON WOLVES!

Guess what? Rough Draft #2 of The Hungry Hungry Games (authored by: yours truly!) is nearly done! I'm trying super hard to finish it by June 1st, the deadline for our CreateSpace novels. Quick lowdown for those who have no idea what I'm talking about: I participated in NaNoWriMo's Young Writer's Program this year, and if you finished your goal (mine was 30,000 words) before November 30th, you win 5 free copies of your novel from CreateSpace, a self-publishing website. Anyways (Oh, whatever, I'll say it anyway[s]!), The Hungry Hungry Games is not my ORIGINAL novel but still one deserving of it's own copy.

Here's a little sampling of me and my best friend, for whom I wrote it, trying to describe it to our book club. BEWARE: It makes no sense whatsoever.

Me: It's this novel about some tyrannical gamemakers named Milton and Bradley who give special drugs to 24 lucky humans, turning them into hippo mutants. Then the mutants are placed in an arena for a FIGHT to the DEATH!
Friend: What were the two main characters named?
Me: Hale and Leigh.
Friend: There's also some pineapple quicksand...
Me: Don't forget the demon wolves!
Friend: Oh, yeah! Or the rock!
Me: Ah yes, the rock. Or the murderer.
Friend: Named Buck!
Me: The two main hippos were named Nyssa and Pete. Nyssa's a jerk. I don't like her.
Friend: You're just mean. She wasn't the villain-- Claudia was.
Me: Oh yeah, she tied up the tour guide named Ashley in a tree!
Friend: Didn't she tie up the old man with the banana hat too?
Me: Ben Ben the Lizard Man!
Friend: Ah, that magical rock! Wait, when did Pete give it to them again?
Me: In the mud pits, remember when the bugs were singing "It's A Small World After All"?
Friend: Oh, yes.
Me: When Hale and Leigh got their jumpsuits.
Friend: And Hale's said "I'm a Beliber" on it!"

Ah, yes... well, this is paraphrased just a tad (she'd kill me for saying anything different), but you get the gist of my short story now, right?

Ahem. Maybe not.

Look for "The Hungry Hungry Games" on bookshelves near you soon!

I wish... Suzanne Collin's agent would probably kill me...

Got to go... Scholastic Press is trying to knock down the door.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Why Stuff Sticks In Your Head (And I Don't Mean Brains, I Mean Justin Bieber)

Why the picture of the lemon pie, you ask? It shall all be revealed at the end of the post! But for now, listen to me preach, then you can have some pie.

So anyways (oops, I just said anyways. I know I'm not supposed to (read my rant about it here, second paragraph, but I couldn't help myself) I was thinking the other day (no obvious jokes here, please) about how I want to go see the Hunger Games movie.

Please, hear me out!

I would go for three reasons: 1, so I can effectively argue with my friends about it, 2, to see what the hype is about, and 3... I forget the third one. So there's just two reasons. But I was thinking about how many people said it was so annoying how the camera kept shaking around, they couldn't see any of the (erm) gross and gory violence/killing spree. A shame, right? I think that I might like that, though. As I think I've said before, I have a... um... "sensitive spirit." Gratuitous violence disturbs me, but it should disturb everyone, don't you think?

It's just that this stuff sticks in our minds. I can still remember that scene from Indiana Jones I where the dude went into the temple and got his head stuck through with spikes. It gave me nightmares for a month (granted, I was only nine) but it goes to show how our brain retains images so well. I read a statistic that said (and this is paraphrased a little) if you view an image for even less than 13 seconds your mind can still remember it years later.

Take this analogy: imagine that you're training for a 5-mile race, but you're not a runner. If you started out running without training, you wouldn't make it 5 miles. (Even though there's a McDonald's like, every 2 miles.) Or you'd get hit by a bus. (That happened in a running book I read.) But you condition yourself, running first 1/2-mile, then a mile, then 2, then 3, up until you can run 5 miles without stopping. Just like you would make your body get used to running for 5 miles straight (though why anyone would do that is beyond me) our minds get used to seeing violence, sex, and other gross/bad stuff in movies, TV shows, and music videos. See it for the first time, it would (hopefully) disturb you-- but see it twenty, and soon you're not affected by it at all. This is one of the reasons why I don't watch stuff like that if I can help it.

You may be wondering where Justin Bieber comes in, so here he is! Just like we remember images so well, we can remember lyrics too. If they're catchy and/or annoying (like Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Oh, Baby, Baby, Baby [etc]) it's easy to memorize the words without knowing it! But since your brain automatically does that, you have to be careful what you listen to. I bought a song by John Mayer without listening to it first, and found out it says one curse word in it. It's only one, and it's not even one of those Queen Mother of All Bad Words, but when I was singing it to myself the only line I could remember was that one. (Oops. Glad my mother wasn't in the room!) Suffice to say, the song is removed from my iPod so I'm not tempted to say it, even when I'm just humming the song. Oh, man, it would be BAD, I tell you, if I was humming it and my friend goes "What song are you humming? How does it go?" "Oh yes, it goes "La, di da, di da BLEEP!" o_O

That would probably be bad.

Not to change the subject, but has anyone read the Junie B. Jones books? I had to read one out loud to my sister because my mom, who was reading it to her, started laughing so hard she couldn't continue. This wasn't that part, but it made me laugh, at least!

Yesterday, a very wonderful thing happened!
And it's called-- I had pie for dinner!
Just pie and that's all!
That's because my mother went to the hospital to have a baby. And Daddy and Grandma Miller went with her. And so me and my grampa got to stay at his house. All by ourselves. And no one even babysitted us! And guess what? Grampa smoked a real live cigar right inside the house! And Grandma didn't yell, "Go outside with that thing, Frank!"... After that, I opened up the 'frigerator. 'Cause I was hungry from playing, that's why.
"HEY! GUESS WHAT? THERE'S A BIG FAT LEMON PIE IN HERE, FRANK!" I hollered.
And so then Grampa Miller got down two plates. And then me and him ate the big fat lemon pie for our dinner!!
Just pie and that's all!!
And we're not even going to get in trouble! 'Cause we're going to tell Grandma that her cat ate it!

The cat ate it... So there's your lemon pie. Enjoy, and I promise next time, I won't preach but I'll just make fun of something. :)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The Pineapple and the Hare

Good day, fine folks!! 


Today I am here to share with you a bizarre NY state exam story with some even bizarre-er questions!


Without further ado, here is the story:


"In the olden times, animals could speak English, just like you and me. There was a lovely enchanted forest that flourished with a bunch of these magical animals. One day, a hare was relaxing by a tree. All of a sudden, he noticed a pineapple sitting near him.
The hare, being magical and all, told the pineapple, "Um, hi." 
The pineapple could speak English too.
"I challenge you to a race! Whoever makes it across the forest and back first wins a ninja! And a lifetime's supply of toothpaste!" 
The hare looked at the pineapple strangely, but agreed to the race.
The next day, the competition was coming into play. All the animals in the forest (but not the pineapples, for pineapples are immobile) arranged a finish/start line in between two trees. The coyote placed the pineapple in front of the starting line, and the hare was on his way.
Everyone on the sidelines was bustling about and chatting about the obvious prediction that the hare was going to claim the victory (and the ninja and the toothpaste). Suddenly, the crow had a revolutionary realization.
"AAAAIEEH! Friends! I have an idea to share! The pineapple has not challenged our good companion, the hare, to just a simple race! Surely the pineapple must know that he CANNOT MOVE! He obviously has a trick up his sleeve!" exclaimed the crow.
The moose spoke up.
"Pineapples don't have sleeves."
"You fool! You know what I mean! I think that the pineapple knows we're cheering for the hare, so he is planning to pull a trick on us, so we look foolish when he wins! Let's sink the pineapple's intentions, and let's cheer for the stupid fruit!" the crow passionately proclaimed. The other animals cheered, and started chanting, "FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN!"
A few minutes later, the hare arrived. He got into place next to the pineapple, who sat there contently. The monkey blew the tree-bark whistle, and the race began! The hare took off, sprinting through the forest, and the pineapple ...
It sat there.
The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were. The pineapple did not have a trick up its sleeve. It wanted an honest race — but it knew it couldn't walk (let alone run)!
About a few hours later, the hare came into sight again. It flew right across the finish line, still as fast as it was when it first took off. The hare had won, but the pineapple still sat at his starting point, and had not even budged."


This is WORD FOR WORD, I swear! Don't believe me, you can read the actual article here


Here are the two questions that pertain to the passage:


1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to


2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl


The only thing that I can glean is that there was no owl. And that the moose must be the wisest, for as he very wisely proclaimed, "Pineapples don't have sleeves." 


I love it when the hare replies to the pineapple's sudden appearance with a very literate... "Um, hi."


(I thought we weren't supposed to say 'um'... at least, that's what's been ingrained into me. I use it anyway, but I mean, it's a public school. Wouldn't you think that they wouldn't want to undermine any die-hard English teachers? "Um, hi." Gimme a break.)


Makes me glad to be homeschooled... I would not want to tackle this particular test!!

Friday, May 4, 2012

My Top Threes! And May the Fourth be With You

Today (or rather, tonight) I have been think quite a bit about some lists. Mainly, lists of Threes. So here they are, presented to you, completely biased and without awareness to the next best thing.

My Top Three Books:
1. The Bible
2. The Running Dream by Wendelin van Draanen
3. Okay for Now by Gary D. Schmidt

My Top Three Songs (on my playlist right now):
1. Rhythm of Love by Plain White T's
2. If I Had Eyes by Jack Johnson
3. The Sound of Sunshine by Michael Franti & Spearhead

My Top Three Male Actors that God Did A Very Good Job in Making Them:
1. Josh Hutcherson
2. Zac Efron
3. Actually, there's just two. :)

Okay, I ran out of lists. But I will gladly give you my opinion on any of YOUR Top Threes. :) And I encourage you to seriously look at your lists. Do they line up with the Bible, and God's expectations with us? I think probably not, as mine are not exactly perfect, usually... but I'm working on that...

May the Fourth Be With You!

(And altho with you!)

Monday, April 30, 2012

More Hunger Pains...

This is just giving a nod to some more Hunger Games hype that's been popping up the last week or so. If you haven't read my post on the Hunger Pains I've been experiencing, I suggest reading it here so you can feel my unbiased (not) take on Suzanne Collins' novels.

Anyways-- why do people say that? It's not plural, for crying out loud. We don't say "so's" instead of "so", or "whatevers" in place of "whatever". And why do we say "thanks"as in, you have my thanks? Aren't we supposed to say "thank you"? So shouldn't we say "thank" instead of "thanks" if we really do need to shorten it?

Sorry, little rant here.

Anyway (see? It's not plural), Foxtrot ran this comic in April 22nd's newspaper. I thought it aptly grasped what our female teenage society now thinks-- we ALL can be Katniss Everdeen.


And I'm not sure I like what the Hunger Games is doing to my friends at school... ha, ha.

My friends (not the Hunger Games-crazed ones-- okay, they're a little crazed, but not excessively) showed me this video. I laughed so hard, and now I'm asking for a "I'll Bake You Pies" tee-shirt for my birthday. [It's only $19 if you feel like getting me one. :)]


Have you been hit with any Hunger Pains recently?

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Quit Putting the Christian Label on Everything!... And Other Random Thoughts

Hello, all! Sorry that last week's post was a tad on the longish side... I'll try to keep this one short and sweet.

I recently had the pleasure of hearing Cody Deese, a youth pastor, speak on his spring tour, and man, was it amazing! His last message was about being in the world, but not of the world, something a lot of people get confused on.

Basically, we're either one or the other-- in the world (just barely) or of the world (excessively). In the world: meaning we're here, but we'd rather not be. So we take everything that we can't see or hear or read or use because it's "pagan" and stick a Christian label on it. Music... the world had Green Day, SLAP on goes the label, and now us Christians have Third Day. The world had secular books, SLAP on goes the label-- they're still secular books, but now you can buy them from the "Christian" bookstores, not the pagan ones! Do you see what I'm getting at here? It's ridiculous! I mean, we have "Christian" tattoos, music, books, movies, and these are all good and well. But we're not "of the world" when we don't even allow these "pagan" things into our life!

And it's taking it a dreadful step forward when we don't allow "pagans" themselves into our life. Basically, the message was: Be in the world (God called us to be witnesses, not judges and lawyers, and how can we witness when we go to a "Christian" school, live in a "Christian" neighborhood, and only have Christian friends) but not of the world (no need to take it too far but totally throwing the Holy Spirit out the window-- that's why you feel guilty when you're listening to a dirty song or doing dirty, "worldly" stuff). ...Just a thought.

On to the random stuff...

I watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding at a friend's sleepover the other night, and I have to say, it cracked me up (even though I don't recommend it). Now all I have to do to my friend to make her die from laughter is to say in a Greek accent, "It was my twiiiiiiin!!!!"

Another thing: for my best friend's birthday, I'm writing her a story. Great present, I know! So far, the forest guide named Ashley has been taken captive along with her group by a band of Hungry Hungry Hippos. Turns out the hippos are part of a fight to the death for the totalitarian government leaders, Milton and Bradley. Only 2 kids escape-- and with the help of a lone Hungry Hungry Hippo, Nyssa, and her boyfriend Pete-- they rescue the group, while keeping away from the increasingly strange creatures in the woods. (Think: an escaped murderer named Buck, Ben Ben the Lizard Man, the magical rock, demon wolves, and more on the way!)

Oops, I lied. It wasn't short, but I sure hope it was sweet.

How are some ways you're in the world? Are you of the world?

Is it possible to be both?

(Author's Note: You may notice that I use the word Christian sometimes with quotations, sometimes without. This is because Christian is a word that describes a person: a follower of Jesus. A movie, book, song, or tattoo can't have a relationship with God! That's why I use quotations, to show that these things aren't REALLY "Christian". By the way, if you're interested in Cody's messages, go to codydeese.com. I think currently he's in Arkansas, so if you live in Our Kansas, you're in luck!)

Saturday, April 14, 2012

What's the Big Deal About the Hunger Games?

Okay, the post title should say it all. But I think I need to say it again:
What IS the big deal about the Hunger Games?


I mean, seriously. I get that it's the new thing. It's like what Harry Potter was in 1999 and Twilight in 2006. But honestly, we need to look at ourselves as a Christian and a modern society here: Why are the biggest things in our world wizards, witches, and sorcery? Then vampires are werewolves? And now KIDS KILLING OTHER KIDS?! I am confused. Extremely confused. 


I read the first Harry Potter book a few months ago, and a little ways into Twilight about a year ago. (I still regret it to this day.) And I don't want to turn this into a bash-fest, but honestly, the writing wasn't that great. It wasn't quite hack writing, but pretty close. And now with this Hunger Games junk? I mean, we were into Wicca and witchcraft. Big deal. Then we were into vampires and the un-dead. Slightly more of a big deal. And now we enjoy dystopian novels about government-enforced slaughtering festivals where 24 kids fight to the death for entertainment. 


American's teenagers have gone down the drain... the big Cornucopia-shaped one.


And now the movie? Released March 2012, The Hunger Games was lauded as "thrilling and superbly acted", according to Rotten Tomatoes, but PluggedIn.com doesn't describe it as a gore-fest. So the books may possibly be just a little more violent than the movie.


Speaking of the books, if you really are interested in this disturbing trend of child fighting, read the first book. Then stop. 


(SPOILER ALERT: Okay, here's where I get to treat myself and rant about the books. If you've read them, please don't be offended. If you haven't, this will make no sense to you, but then again, it shouldn't. So just ignore this next paragraph unless you want to laugh at me and my inexplicable lameness.)
I'm going to assume you know who I'm talking about, because Katniss, Peeta, and Gale may possibly be the single thing your friends have talked about for the last three weeks-- and you probably have been asked "Peeta or Gale?" more times than the number of books I've read this year (which is 68 exactly). So anyways, in teh second book, about halfway through Katniss gets a little psycho. Oh, did I say psycho? I meant paranoid. (She's always been psycho. Okay, I lied, this is definitely a bash--fest.) She's always like "This person's gonna kill me, can't trust this person, can't be here or here or AHH IT'S A GIANT MONKEY!" and so on so forth. I believed that in the third book, Katniss should've died and it should have been her looking down at the Games below (or looking up, depending on what you think of Katniss). Too many people died thanks to her than I would've liked-- but she comes out unscathed at the end, to grow up, marry her true love (which should have been Finnick, if you ask me) and live happily ever after while the people and families she scarred are left behind. The end. (Both of the books and my self-indulgment. Thanks, guys, for listening.)


This may not be the raving review you've always heard, and it probably makes more sense to those who have read the books. If you feel as though you need to read them now, knock yourself out. Not literally, of course.


But we need to analyze these books as Christians, too. Twilight deeply scarred me as a naive 13-year-old, scaring me with the darkness Stephanie Meyer fans adore. While the Hunger Games might not be as dark and creepy, or dabble in witchcraft,  it definitely gives a rebellious nod to what may (but most likely will not) be our future. From the romantic angle Suzanne Collins played in the first book to the gruesome details in the third, the unmarried sleeping-together, the blatant disregard for those in power above (no matter that they were evil), the Hunger Games is probably a book those who value values (and their sanity) can live without.


Today I felt like I needed to give some funny to offset this (hopefully non-offensive) sad review, so here's a couple writing prompts made up by yours truly.


It's time for the Hungry Hungry Games! If you're familiar with the Hunger Games, you won't want to miss this! Put 24 Hungry Hungry Hippos into the arena and see what hilarity ensues!
*Disclaimer: any unintentional or intentional maiming by the generally docile hippos is under no warranty to Milton Bradley or the Capitol. Take all risks as such.*


When I googled "when did Harry Potter became popular", this result popped up from stateofnature.org (of which I have no clue what it is). You know how Google, bless it's soul, only shows a few bits of the article with your key words? This is the result I got.


"The enormous scale of the sale of Harry Potter is undoubtedly due to the changed ... 
In the nearby Khan Market, buyers were provided breakfast to refresh ... 
Notwithstanding all the precautionary steps, pirated copies did appear on the market..."
Take one of these sentences and finish it. I guarantee everything you come up with will have at least a small degree of funniness! Mine are:


"The enormous scale of the sale of Harry Potter is undoubtedly due to the changed military tactics of the attacking life-sized Lego men."
"In the nearby Khan Market, buyers were provided breakfast to refresh after one unfortunate incident including a fainting woman, a beard, and a stick of butter laced with dynamite."
"Notwithstanding all the precautionary steps, pirated copies did appear on the market, if only by accident because the pirates usually don't enjoy just anyone seeing their special red and white skull-and-pineapples cover design."


Enjoy! I'm sure I will... :) Sorry this was so long, but I felt I owed ya'll one. 


(Okay, just wanted to say: If you have any questions regarding my views on the Hunger Games, as well as where to find good, Christian resources about them, feel free to contact me, if only to rag me for being so against it!! Also, if you have any good arguments against it, please let me know. I am losing this battle completely to my Hunger Games-fanatic, Josh Hutcherson-crazed friends. Please, help!) Although I am known to just be a tad Josh Hutcherson-crazed myself... but it's to be expected, right?

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Vacationed...

Vaycay shunned. Vay cayshuned. Vayke aschun'd.

We're going on a  vay-cayshun, and snorkling for the first time! Has anyone ever been snorkling before? Frankly, I'm just freaked about the sharks.
Sharks?
Well, when you put it that way...
I'm missing 2 weeks of school.
And 2 weeks of internet.

So that's really what this blog post is about: Don't have Great Expectations (Charles Dickens) for very much these next few weeks! And don't be expecting your charrie sketch on my other blog, sketchwriteress.blogspot.com, for a little while. Sorry!
So on to the next thing!
I'm going to run of a quick writing prompt here...
Thanks to the wonderful insight of a comment-er on the Staring does not = stalking! post (http://thewriteress.blogspot.com/2012/02/staring-does-not-stalking.html), I've been inspired to help you all on your path to authoral greatness.
You can thank me later.

So here's something really really quick cause I have no time at all...
Find a few of your favorite books, and flip open to the middle of one of them. No peeking! Stab your finger in the pages somewhere, then open the book up and take the first sentence your finger lands on. Beginning with that sentence, write a paragraph or two or twenty of your own work.

Example: Let me take my copy of Palace of Mirrors by Margaret Peterson Haddix...

"I take a tentative breath and draw in the sweet odor of roses, lilies, lavender." (This is from the beginning of chapter 21.)

Could you write something out of that? I could. A whole story, actually. Keep in mind that this is definitely NOT plagiarism, no! It's taking creative licenses and doing your own totally different thing. I highly doubt what you write from this will exactly follow the lines of Ms. Haddix' novel.

Take a sentence you like from your own book, or here's another one to keep you busy:

"When you find something that's whole, you do what you can to keep it that way."
Gary D. Schmidt, Okay for Now.


To borrow the words of Gail Carson Levine (gailcarsonlevine.blogspot.com), have fun, and save what you wrote!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Ack... editing blues!

I love editing-- in fact, that seems to be the only thing I'm good at! Even when I'm supposed to "critique" and not scour out any imperfections in a manuscript, I still end up doing that. Oh, the editing blues!
I just finished editing Jacob Buller's The War Horn manuscript... and it was really good! Really, really good. So look for it in Amazon's ebook collection in the next few weeks (right, Jake?). Read all about it at teenagewritingrocks.blogspot.com.
Oh, how I ache for spring! The days have been chilly here, but the sun has been coming out a tad bit more and now it's up to almost 60 degrees Fahrenheit. Warm! And almost shorts weather.
So is editing your dream? (Mine is becoming a children's book editor, so I guess I'm getting good practice.) What's your dream?

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Happy (late) Valentine's Day!!

Ahh, the day of love... How did you celebrate your V day? I went to a Valentine's party... lots of fun. And I have taken it upon myself to share some of the activities that we played.
The first, we were given a paper heart with the beginning of the poem "Roses are read, violets are blue..." and asked to complete it. Mine:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm not a poet,
So don't expect this to rhyme.
Here's a few others:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Your parents are dead
And never loved you. (We advised this author to drop the dark poetry or he'd never get a wife.)
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Darth Vader's your father
But I still love you.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
This poem is stupid
Because it's not true.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Will you marry me?
(Yup. All the girls went, "Awwwww!")

Share some of your favorite V-day poems. And catch phrases: some of my favs were "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. (Mostly because everything would be easier if the vowels were in closer proximity to each other.)"
"You've stolen my heart. Literally. Blood... loss... [passes out]"
"Is that Cupid in your pocket? Or do you just have really weirdly-shaped pants?" (This one doesn't make sense, but I think it's funny.)
"Which of these 3 things should you NOT give a girl on Valentine's Day? 1. chocolates, 2. flowers, 3. tickets to a monster truck rally. (Hint: it's number three.)"
"My life without you is like a broken pencil... pointless."
"Hey, a date with me is at least better than eating those weirdly chalky heart things."

:)

Happy V day!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Currently...

Hello again, world! I have a few thoughts I need to share.

Well, not really need, but I just wanted to let you know...

Currently, I've discovered goodreads.com!! SO SO cool, it's one of my new favorite websites. If you're on goodreads, search for me and add me as a friend: goodreads.com/TheWriteress. If you're not sure what goodreads is, I'm not either. I'm still figuring it out. So go and see!

My fingers are currently stained blue-green because of tie-dying today. Very fun, and now I can't get it off. Fantastic. (And with school tomorrow, too. Although I was able to remove the dye from my face, where it splattered.) My friend says that if you go to public school with dyed hands, they would take it as a sign of a gang and you would get in giant trouble. Who knew, right? Ridiculous.

Currently, I am compiling a list of the best, absolute BEST YA fairy-tale-esque books. (If you didn't already know, this is my favorite genre of books and I read these ALL the time.)
They're listed in no particular order.

Princess Ben by Catherine Gilbert Murdock
The Wide-Awake Princess by E.D. Baker
Princess Academy (#1) by Shannon Hale (are you sensing a theme here?)
A Tale of Two Castles by Gail Carson Levine
My Fair Godmother (#1) by Janette Rallison
Palace of Mirrors by Margaret Peterson Haddix
The Frog Princess (#1) by E.D. Baker

And currently, that's all for now, folks. At least in the princess-y romantical books. (Disclaimer: I hate, absolutely hate, books that market themselves as "Romance". When I use that term, I use it lightly, and the worst (or in my opinion, best) thing that happens in these books is that the MC and the guy kiss. That's all. I have read a few books that go farther, and I am not promoting books such as those. Thank you, and have a nice day.)

A few more things...

Actually, I forgot what I was going to say. So currently, the gist of this post is 1) add me as a friend on goodreads, and 2) if you're a girl like me read these fairy-tale romanticals. Also, if you have any suggestions, please let me know! I'm always looking for more books to read.

:)

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Staring does not = stalking!!!

If you're into Christmas carols, you'll recognize these few lyrics. He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake...


Creepy!!

But please, tell me you haven't done this before. You look up and see a peculiar sight-- a grown man trying to inconspicuously sniff his armpit, a woman sneaking her dog into Wal-Mart, another teenager with earbuds in their ears but then you realize that the earbuds aren't plugged into anything. And you're drawn to this person, trying to figure who they really are.

My drama teacher said something really profound the other day: Staring is not stalking.

So get out there and stare! Just not too conspicuously. Observe, maybe. See how that 20-something year old woman at O' Charley's folds her napkin just right, or wipes her mouth after every bite. Or the frail, elderly man leaving the pet store with a giant dog. A Great Dane, maybe.

Observe, then write! Create a description of the person, a little bio, name and all. If you don't know, then guess. Fabricate a whole life and career for this person if you wish. Say you see a man rushing to work. His tie is sticking out, his shirt isn't tucked in, and frankly, his hair looks like a rabbit had just nested in it. You can guess that either this man lives a very messy life and isn't married, or he just got back from saving the world and is late for work.

Your call.

See, that's the coolest thing about stalking! Er, I mean, staring. A brief explanation on that: stalking is going so far as knowing this person age, name, address, phone number, car model, love life, and shoe size. (You are not stalking your close friends if you know this about them. You are, however, if this person is someone you have never seen in your life. Although I think that should go without saying.) Staring is looking curiously at people-- however, NEVER let them know you're looking!

So write up 1, 4, or 20 pages of a fake life for someone you caught a glimpse of at Kroger. Word to the wise:
Sunglasses like these make it fun!









So go and get gawking!!

(Note: Try not to stare at people who are disabled in any way, not matter how fascinating their tic. They would obviously feel uncomfortable, even if your staring is for good, not evil.)

Why Do I Hate To Write?

Writing has it's pros and cons. (Oh, wow, I just sounded like I'm writing a 5-paragraph essay. Ugh.) I'm a writer; I love to write. You may be wondering why, then, have I titled this post Why Do I Hate To Write?

The reason is simply... because everyone does at one point or another.

Man, this is getting so hard to explain... I love to write. I love the plot when it flows, the characters when they're believable, the dialogue when it's witty. I love the settings that come alive, the descriptions that flow like poetry, the possibility of creating my own world.

I hate the plot when it's sticky. I hate the characters when they're unbelievable. I hate the dialogue when it sounds like something from a Dick-and-Jane book. I hate the settings that make me feel as though I'm blind, the descriptions that overload me from page one, and the limitations in believability.

Does this sound like you?

You see, I said that everyone feels this at one time or another. But that's not strictly true-- there are those select few who enjoy nothing more than tearing up any writing assignment from English. And those who are ignorant to the wonderful worlds you can create through the power of the pen! (Or the power of MicrosoftWord, if you want to be difficult.)

So ENJOY the writing privileges you have. No one, ever, absolutely loves writing. Not Stephen King, not James Patterson, not Stephenie Meyer. They all experience dark days. So take heart! If you're a writer, don't feel bad that you hate the craft sometimes. Just read a good book (unless this will remind you of how bad your writing is), write a few paragraphs, have a good chat with a friend. Then get back into it and remember why, exactly, you're doing this at all.

Why are you? Exactly?

Thursday, February 2, 2012

A Word On Kilts

Am I the only one who thinks that men wearing skirts is wrong and definitely NOT the way God designed us? For Geography I researched kilts. In Scotland. And Wikipedia.org says that kilts are being adapted for the US and Canada. And that they're becoming a growing fashion trend! FOR MEN!!
Tell me this picture isn't wrong.


They're like Jedis. (Or those Star Wars guys that wear feminine fashion statements.) Are kilts wrong? Or just for special occasions? In fact, kilts are being sold for "formal occasions" in the USA.
"Hey, Jessica, what are you wearing to the prom?" 
"Oh, I'll probably wear my purple formal dress." 
"What is your date wearing?" 
"A skirt!" 
"Ooooh, masculine!"


Uh huh.

So the polls are open-- and non kilt-wearing men are expected to dominate. Vote here and now!

Have you ever pre-read?

...and isn't it such a lovely concept? Pre-reading is like licking the cookie dough spoon because you made the cookies. It's like picking teams first because you were the one that wanted to play dodgeball. It's like... it's like...

Pre-reading The War Horn for Jake!!

According to his epic blog (teenagewritingrocks.blogspot.com), if I blog about pre-reading it, I get another copy of my name in the hat. I wonder how many times I can do this... xP

Ha, ha. But anyways, I am inviting any and all to comment about their pre-reading experience. I, personally, have never done it, but I think that The War horn would be a great place to start.

So Jake has given us the fantastic chance of being the ones to pre-read his novel! *sends up a little prayer*

I've gotta go. Deadline is tonight. Pray for me, please, and Jake (that his writing will continue to glorify God the way it has for... um... forever). I'll let us go with a visual aid.

Hmmm, what should it be? A short video clip? A photo? Drawing? Here: to make you laugh. (I frequent this restaurant often. To let you know.)


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Are you a fan of delicious flavor?




Haha, is anyone here a fan of Psych? My BFF came over a few weeks ago and we made pineapple upside-down cake in my Easy-Bake Oven. Here's the recipe that actually WORKS.

PINEAPPLE UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE:
1/4 cup yellow cake batter
3 teaspoons pineapple juice
1 slice pineapple; drained, cut in half
brown sugar
Grease Easy-Bake Oven pan lightly.
Cover bottom of Easy-Bake Oven pan with brown sugar. Arrange thin slices of drained pineapples over brown sugar. Mash lightly with spoon.
Pour cake batter over pineapples.
Bake about 20 minutes. Let cool.
Serve cake with pineapple side up.
(recipe taken without permission from eborecipes.com)

And it works! Here's a pic of our cake.


Anyways, Shawn's lightbulb wattage was WAYYY too high. Maybe that's why his cake didn't cook correctly.

Ciao, and pull out your own Easy-Bake Oven to bake with! Ahh, what memories... (Warning: Clean the oven before preheating. You most definately do NOT want your lovely oven to start smoking because you neglected to remove the white cake from sixteen years ago. Yes, they're THAT old.)

Book Review: Models Don't Eat Chocolate Cookies

TITLE: Models Don't Eat Chocolate Cookies
AUTHOR: Erin Dionne
READING LEVEL: 9 and up
PAGES: 256
SYNOPSIS: Celeste Harris used to be perfectly comfortable with her weight. She also used to think nothing would make seventh grade worse than super-popular, super-mean Lively Carson's persistent insults and attempts to steal her best friend. But then her aunt secretly signed her up for a pageant for plus-sized girls against her will, and suddenly it was clear: Things could be much worse. So Celeste crafts a plan - she'll sacrifice her chocolate cookie obsession, lose weight, and shrink right out of the competition.

Ah, I LOVE this book, and I love Celeste (you can actually see the Manga sketch of her I did on sketchwriteress.blogspot.com)! I guarentee you will too by the time you finish it. There are SO many hilarious escapades, I was laughing my head off by the end. This is actually Erin Dionne's first book, and I thought it was spectacular-- mostly because I relate. Dionne shows how to be a HuskyPeach in this SkinnyBanana world! Dionne has written two other books: The Total Tragedy of a Girl Named Hamlet (just as funny as Models, if not funnier) and Notes from an Accidental Band Geek. I was sorely disappointed when I read this last one, expecting the best, like before.... but Dionne didn't deliver (haha! alliteration!). Elsie was a brat, disrespectful to her parents, and it really wasn't a strong plot (like Models... it was such a novel idea. I loved that one best, I must admit. My apologies if this post is a little biased). So I suggest: read Models, then Hamlet, then stop there.

My rating: 6 out of 5 stars!



Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Hola, Bonjour, and Hello

Hello, good friends!

How has your day been? Oh, please, be honest.

For the very few (which = no one) who follow my site (or look at it rather often), sorry for the Janus crest awkwardness. I needed to grab those pics from a site (but they would only let me put it on a blog)...
so long story short, they meant nothing. Zip. Nada. Zilch.

Unless, of course, you are a...

39 CLUES FAN!

I just found this series and it has to be one of the best things that has happened to me! I've read all of the first series, and #1 in the second. I'm an agent on the site (very cool, by the way, but to do the main part of it you have to buy books. And I'm a library sort of girl) and it is rather exciting. Fav book of the series: number 4. Most romantic, so therefore, the best of the whole series. :D

I HATE IT WHEN AMY GETS A BOYFRIEND! IAN IS MEANT FOR HER!
(Maybe I should have said *SPOILER* right there... Sorry.)

So what else is new? Well, on my charrie site (sketchwriteress.blogspot.com) I just put up a new post.

Sorry I haven't been on... I've been grounded. From the computer. But now obviously I'm not, so... ah... yes. moving on.

Sad news! Jake, from Teenage Writer (teenagewritingrocks.blogspot.com), will not be blogging too much lately, as he is without internet. I'll miss his witty comments!

So one last thing before I let you go...

Some poetry from me! (Because everyone knows poetry is SO my thing.) Actually, it's more of a nursery rhyme...

MARY HAD A LITTLE MAN,
LITTLE MAN,
LITTLE MAN,
MARY HAD A LITTLE MAN,
SHE KEPT HIM IN A CAGE.

THE LITTLE MAN GOT OUT ONE DAY,
OUT ONE DAY,
OUT ONE DAY,
THE LITTLE MAN GOT OUT ONE DAY,
AND LOCKED MEAN MARY UP.

Lovely, no? I was going to do a box, because it's not as cruel, but the cage was more realistic. Mary wasn't a very upstanding young lady.

Ciao for now!